2 posts tagged “kids say funny things”

As mentioned in previous posts, some boys in this family constantly try to outdo each other.  But they must learn that when it comes to speaking, sometimes less is better.  Here is this morning's illustration:

5 year old:  Mommy, did I tell you that we speak Spanish?  That's what my teacher said.

8 year old:  Kahne!  No!  We speak English!!  People in China speak Spanish!!!!

Ageless mother:   *sighs* 

Feeling down?  Having trouble measuring up to the expectations of others?  Struggling with feelings of inferiority?  Let my intellectually gifted family help.  These are real excerpts from real Flag conversations.   Read them and watch your feelings of inadequacy disappear.

Excerpt 1

Child 3:  Way back then in the future, like in 1997, did they have seat belts?

Child 4:  No, Fathead.  They only rode horses in 1997.

Wise elder child 2 who was born after 1997:  You’re both wrong.  They had cars by 1997, but they were called horseless carriages.

Children 3 & 4:  Oh! That’s right.

Excerpt 2

Child, fully dressed, during ride to library:  Ooops.  My left boot is on the wrong foot.

Child, 10 minutes later, who has changed nothing :  Oh no!  Now both of my boots are on the wrong feet!

Excerpt 3

Wise elder male child:  Daddy said that when I get older I will need to carry my basketball shoes into the gym.  I guess I’ll have to run, especially in the winter, since I’ll be barefoot.

Wise elder mother:  Did he happen to mention having a second pair of shoes?

Wise elder male child:  Now that wouldn’t make any sense.  Ha Ha Ha!!  Who ever heard of having two pairs of the same size shoes?  Ha Ha Ha!!!

Excerpt 4

Child 3:  Isn’t it wonderful?  Our dog has hit puberty.

Mother:  What is puberty anyway?

Child 3:  I’m really not sure, but I know it has something to do with your leg.

Excerpt 5

Very bright Flag child:  I know what language we speak.  It’s French.  And in French the way we say good-bye is hola.

Excerpt 6

Shaken Flag kindergartner:  When my teacher was 10 or 11, she took a gun with a bullet and shot a doctor.  His name was Dr. King.  She killed him and Stewart says we get a day off school because Dr. King died.  I just don’t know why she shot him.

Excerpt 7

We will close this edition with words spoken by a child who could be only Caution’s offspring:

I know what 2 + 2 is.  It’s 4. 

I also know what 100 + 100 is.  It’s 200.

200 + 200 is 400.

AND I know what 400 + 400 is.  It’s 698.