Sniff, Blow
Dear Certain Students:
You continue to come to class bearing these:
Some of you even bring these to collect the used tissues.:
You look feverish. You wheeze. You cough. You blow. You sniff and snort. And some of you moan. Then you come up to tell me in hushed tones that you are very sick. Why do you need to get within two inches of my face to say this? When I quickly back up ten feet and ask, “Why are you here then?” you all answer the same way: “You take attendance, Dr. Caution.”
That response has become a curse to me. I give three no-questions-asked absences. Not one, or two. Three. And I don’t even always remember to take attendance anyway. And besides that, I can’t count very well and you know it.
So all you tissue-packing, garbage bag-toting students: please stay home.
Signed,
Your sniffly, congested, aggrieved professor who is now carrying her own
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