At War With Rice
This is rice. Instant, white, of no nutritional value rice…simple and easy to make rice…the type of rice healthy people eschew….the type of rice so easy children can make it.
It is also the rice I cannot cook correctly.
The steps are deceptively easy:
Boil water, butter, and salt.
Add rice.
Cover.
Remove from heat.
Fluff.
And in the Flag home there is one final step: eat the now finished rice and break a tooth or two.
I am admitting here in this public forum that I have a problem. Every time I cook instant rice, some of the kernels little rice pieces remain hard as nails. It’s embarrassing. It’s a health risk. It’s befuddling.
I’m pretty sure I know what the cause is.
The trouble began a few months ago. I bought healthy brown rice and knew it would cause trouble. I felt so guilty that I quickly hid it before the white rice could see it. I was afraid that the white rice would get its feelings hurt, and look at the mess I’ve got now that it has.
At first it was just a little weeping every time I opened the cabinet where the white rice lives. Then it progressed to cajoling. Then begging. Now the white rice is openly mocking me.
I’m a wreck – held hostage by instant white rice. I’ve been able to hide the trouble pretty well, but last night I thought I’d take one more chance. Instant white rice was on my dinner menu. It was, predicatably, crunchy. Tooth-ache worthy crunchy.
This is revenge in its purest form.
I surrender, white rice. Did you hear me? You win!!